A Moment of Reflection

What do you see when looking back on your life?  At times it is benficial to remember from whence you came.  Hopefully, for most of you it is more than pain, heartache, hurt, fear, and a hole in your soul so big that nothing but the love of God and the healing of a gracious Lord can fix.

Thanks to the teaching of A. Wetheral Johnson, founder of Bible Study Fellowship, I will not recount the details, but suffice it say my childhood was less than what God intended, yet He allowed it to take place. 

Ever wonder why?  Throughout my counseling and teaching career this has been one of the top five questions asked.  An old acquanitance once answered back from this question, "Why not?"  Why not indeed!  Was I so special or so bad that abuse ought not touch me?  Today abuse is so previalent and so severe one can only pray for God's comfort and healing to transpire and transform the victim. 

I don't know about anyone else, but I ate that term "victim". It sounds like a filthy four letter word.  It brings with it doubt, dispair, violation of a persons identity and confusion.  Children due to their developemental stage are unable mentally, emotionally and physically to make sense of it all.  They walk around half-dead internally.  Depressed most of the time, and full of anger and hate which too often is expressed outwardly.  I was a mean child.  Did not realize how mean until a class reunion when this was related to me.  I, was shocked, to hear this.  You see, most people do not take the time or care to try and find out why.  They would rather judge and condem the person rather than analyze the behavior. 

Along with this internal war came a bigger blow; my folks divorce and WWII.  Where does achild go for comfort and a place that allows them to grieve?  For me, it was the movies.  I especially loved attending a George Raft movie, he usually play a mobster, but looked enough like my dad that I cried throughout the film.  Nothing made sense, not the pain, shame, guilt or anger.  Another place I found solace and love, which was absent at home, was my Grams.  She loved me unconditionally, and was one the greatest influences of my life.

She left a legacy behind of perseverance, integrity, and the ability to make do out of the toughest circumstances life coukd throw at you.  She belived in our Lord, and I know we will be together again when I am ushered into the my final resting place, with Christ in heaven.

I have no idea if she knew what transpired in our home and I never said.  You just didn't talk about those kinda things back then.  God used this pioneer woman's stength and meekness to minister to me much like Christ and the scripures continue to do.  It took time and many personal struggles but on that fateful day in February 1975, I came face-to-face with the most gracious and merciful person; the divine, glorious Son-of-God.  My life has never been the same.

According to Scripture I am a new creation in Christ.  I am to render my fleah dead.  I am to bend my will to His Will.  I am to be transformed by the renewing of my mind.  I am to share the gospel, do good works and serve my fellow believers wherever and whenever possible.  I AM BLESSED beyond comprehension. 

You see looking back can serve as a reminder, much like communion, to remember ALL He has done, desires to do, and will accomplish In His Time.

I do not know the why's of the past, nor do I know the why's of today, but this I know I am His and He is mine and apparently He is not done with me yet.  I have so much more to learn and hopefully accomplish for His glory and honor.  Those who have experienced abuse of any knid and know Christ personally as their Lord and Savior are no longer a victim, but according to Revelations, we are OVERCOMERS, vistorious through Christ. 

The challenge dear sister is believing the truth and walking that truth, knowing that healing is not always instantaneous, but a process.  So, please enter into this journey for you are not alone.  Christ is with us and all the other saints pulling and praying for our lives to show His glory.  There is no greater purpose or joy than this, giving back to the Lord what He so richly deserves and paid for, YOU.

Some of scriptures I referred to are Isaiah 61:1-3 (healing and freedon from bondage); Romans 8:28-29; 12:1-2;(Thinking with the mind of Christ through knowing the scriptures and applying them to your everyday life.) II Corinthians 5:17; Ephesians 4:20-24. (Putting on the new creation in your mind then living it out in all aspects of our walk and behavior.)