' ' I just received a dear friends copy of a talk she gave recently. This, precious sister in Christ is dying of MDS. I call it a privilege to know her as well as to be consider a friend. I met this lady in 1993 when I joined the church both she and her hubby, Pastor Ron, was shepherding. She is lady I highly admire, grew to love, and only pray my legacy could be half of hers. She is a picture of loveliness, Christlikeness, loyalty and honor. Her journey has been hard, but she is triumphant! She is also in one of the chapters of my book. Any woman could only be a better example and influence if they could emulate her character and heart. She has already won; now she wants to finish the race well. I know she will because she relies on her Savior and Lord Jesus Christ. No one knows how long she will be with us on earth, but whatever time the Lord has given her but that time will always be to point to her Lord. Her life has been and continues to be a tribute to Christ, her lord. What a legacy!! Her copy stated, The Word of God gives us direction as to what kind of legacy would give God glory. Galatians 5:22-26 speaks of the fruit of the Spirit; Now those whobe long to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us walk by the Spirit, let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another." Only my Lorna could have come to this conclusion and see God's hand in her diagnosis. For the diagnosis' technical name is Myelodyplastic, but she says it is her song MY MELODY, as she is a pianist and loves music.
Her song will sing on into eternity. By Lorna Schafer (retold with loving care to relay her legacy to all who may read) this
Whether you want to call our path or a journey is really just semantics, because in reality they mean the same thing. For those of us claiming Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord the outcome of our life's journey ought to leave a trail of victory in Jesus as we take our final breath. Thanks to my Lord, my path's outcome changed drastically; not by human effort, but His grace, mercy and Word. Like Lorna, my greatest desire is to finish the race well. All glory goes to Him; due to His transforming power.
Recently I have been working with a gal who was terribly abused, misused, neglected and had very little if any, motherly nurturing. Much like my mom, her mother had her own demons to contend with and had little insight or ability to parents, protect and nurture her daughter. Even when her daughter was raped and she became pregnant her mother whopped her only adding to her already view of her worth and value. Her feelings became distorted and wrongly labeled. The cycle her life took was one of self-destructive relationships, and self-hatred.
The good news is she came to Christ and now has His love, worth, value, and forgiveness of sin. Her challenge is be transformed by the renewing of her mind (heart) Romans 12:2. The other day as we were reviewing her life (pre-Christ) patterns and she gained insight and appropriate labels for her feelings; confusion and some self-loathing was healed. The healing process takes time, but can leave deeper pain and hurt that the Lord in His time will bring forward to be dealt with then. I bring this scenario up only to try and emphasize how very deep and lasting being abused and having your personal body violated hides in our hearts and souls. As a result of my time with this precious gal, i noticed that anger was surfacing ever so slightly. For those of you who may be reading this, it is called counter-transference. A couple of days went by, and it finally dawned on me why. My gals recalling of the trauma had left its impact on igniting my own. Odd how early trauma can be so trivialized by many in the law, churches and society.
I had to go to Lord, once the root of this anger was realized. I prayed and sought healing and a release from its harmful potential. You see, if I would have ignored it by stuffing it, no healing could have taken place and no relief. For now, this moment in time is over. Will it happen again? Probably, as long as I work with this gal and until total healing is experienced. Since, I am unaware of the depth of that hurt the Lord will continue to use events like this to bring total restoration to my soul. I praise God the Holy Spirit knows and understands better than I. He will in His time bring up what prevents me from wholeness in a human sense; as I am whole and complete in Christ. However, I still walk, move and have my being in a violated, abused and traumatized body. Our bodies carry memories in every fiber of its being. God knows and understands this mystery. Little by little the residue of the past is being brought forward, revealed for healing which ONLY He can do. When He heals is permanently healed, this is why we cannot withhold anything from Him. For now, I am not in bondage to some of the past events. I pray it is over, but need to be discerning if more anger arises. In James we are told to be angry;, but do not sin. We sin against ourselves, others and most of all our Lord when we hold onto it or try to ignore and stuff it. It is similar to heartburn, you can have and try to ignore it , but relief does not happen until you take something to get rid of the extra acid. Ignoring the heartburn can lead to ulcers and acid reflux. Unfortunately, this, too, was a pattern in my life until I decided to take action immediately; which means stop eating whatever is causing this and take the right medication to prevent further damage. So, too, with a poor upbringing and past.
Christ came to set the captives free and release the prisoners (Isaiah 61:1-2). Scripture would not have claimed this gift if it were not true. Our job is recognize, seek His healing, through honest confession and just plain talking it out with the One who listens, loves, and offers restoration and healing. How many times do we need to do all this? All the time, but especially when He brings things to our attention regardless of what they are or how embarrassing they may be. This is LOVE which you won't find anywhere else.
I, like Paul, can say that I am a chief sinner; saved by His marvelous grace. How then, like Lorna, can I not want to fight the good fight, finish the path He has for me (whatever or wherever that may lead) and finish the race well. (II Timothy 4:7) When all is said and done, may my Lord be lifted up and honored. May Chist Jesus be glorified.
"In His Time" is my life's theme song, what is yours?
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