This morning when I awoke, I smiled and said, "Daddy I am home." I am done wallowing, not with the pigs, but feeling like my heavenly could not love me, especially after the last few days of enemy attacks. How could I not have recognixed the enemies work sooner? My conclusion was simply. Much like a battered animal is prey to his enemy; so, I was open prey to mine. Our enemy is a coward who loves to taunt, condemn and render his prey useless, and helpless. However, he cannot do this if we are not allowing hi access.
When I read the scriptures, the enemy hates God's Word, for it has power, truth and freedom on each page. In Isaiah 61, the scripture tells us Christ came to set the captive free and relaease the prisoner from darkness. God has set me free along time agon from my childhood and multiple mistakes. God called me through Christ Jesus as His own child.
For some reason this holiday season, I plummeted down in a sprial motion that happened so quic;ly I did not recognize what was happening. Until, he brought bac a scene to hurtful to share, but the Lord knows and understands. With that taunt, I knew without a shadow of doubt, that this was fun I was in was not from my Heavenly Father or my Lord Jesus; it was the enemy! With a new awareness of the depth of dispair I had been in since Thanksgiving, I cried out to my Lord and Daddy. Next, searching for something to read, I picked up a booklet on beliveing God's promises in times of doubt. Did God understand my doubting Him? Yes, I do believe He does; for on the cross eeven Christ doubted in His humanity when He cried out to the Father, "why have you forsaken me?"
With new found strength in Christ and His promises, I continued to read, "doubt your doubts, bleive you beliefs." Profound saying, but so true. Have you ever doubted your doubts? If so, what conclusion did you come up with? How about believing your beliefs? I know who I belong to, I know who I serve, and I now where I will go when the last breath is pushed put of my lungs; to Christ in Heaven. For He bought and paid for me at such a high cost. Underserved, but so appreciated and grateful. Scripture declares. "that those forgiv3en much, love much." That is me!
Chrsit got no bargin when He bought me, but there is nothing that will pull me away from my sweet Davior and Lord. Testing and trials not only correct our attitudes, vision, though life, motivations, sin when needed; but that time of trial or testing shows what we are made of. The very fabric of our being. Metals go through a stress testing, this testing tested my metal. I can not take credit for surviving this period of trials, for Christ the Potter had modeled in me His metal; the same metal He showed while He was on this earth, at the garden the night before He died, and at te cross where He died, but I was born.
What a Lord and Savior! Who knows His own so well, He knows exactly what we need in the battle, and what will be accomplished when the battle, this time, is over. How I praise an dworship Him, for allowing me to be tested and tried. I pray on e day pure gold will emerge and as people loo on the metal it will reflect Christ , my King, Lord , Husband, Protector, Provider, and Savior.
Think about this old hymn, "O Love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee; .....O Joy that seekest me through pain I cannot close heart to Thee; I trace the rainbow through the rain and feel the promise is not vain..."
I love the rainbow, duing on tough season of trials, God gave me a double rainbow and put in my heart that all is well, and a double portion it will be. Have you asked God for a rainbow in the rain of season?
Final though, when we seek our God above, "Unless there is within us that which is above us, we will soon yield to that which is around us."
Stay faithful and close to our gracious and great Lord and king. May your testings and trials produce pure gold so all who look into you, His vessel, see Jesus looking back at them.
O Cross that liftest up my head, I dare not ask to fly from Thee; I lay in dust life's glory dead and from the ground there blossoms red Life that shall endless be.
Marantha
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